Beyonce's Maple Syrup Diet: I QUIT!!

NOOOOOO
I couldn't do it, day 1 is the end
okthankyoubye

Beyonce's Maple Syrup Diet: Day 1

Due to some unexpected owambe party at my house, I couldn't start this diet thing yesterday
But today is the day. Right now, i am still trying to finish the cup of sea salt and water.
My tummy is acting funny already. I made a lil cup of my concussion lemonade yesterday just to taste it and it doesnt even taste that bad...
Lets do this!!!

This time....<3

I couldn't help my self. just had to blog about this song. It is BEAUTIFUL!! I cant get it out of my head, out of mind, out of my thoughts. If only all men were this sincere, this dedicated. If only they had this much compassion and this much strength to be vulnerable to another person, to love another person this way. WOW!!
I first heard it on the season finale of The Game and I fell in love.
I have to say John Legend killed it cos this is the only song of his that I like.



Unfortunately, the video is not out yet so i uploaded here the song + lyrics
cos the words can melt the hardest of hearts

and, Muramasa dies

I am so happy that kouga killed muramasa, he deserved it
Kouga wasn't the bad guy
what they did to him wasn't fair.
yammamoto is very stupid
I enjoyed this blech episode!!!
I was so shocked that Kouga was in the Kuchiki family
Those DAMN Kuchiki men,
they are just tooo HOT!!!
This is the last part of the episode
where muramasa was so happy that he resurrected his master until kouga knifed me....lol!! he deserved that

I tried, I really did

Oh em gee!!!
i tried, i really did try, but i couldn't resist the rice and the chicken anymore.
OH SNAP!!! I sound like a grobs!!
*hiss* do not judge me,
I was effing hungry!! i hadn't eaten all day
and its not like I went and devoured a whole nations worth of rice and stew,
I ate a decent amount
LMAO!!!
Tomorrow is another day

Beyonce's Maple Syrup Diet: Day 0

I did not eat anything today in preparation for the days of starvation to come.
It definitely was not easy. I got home from school today and my aunt had cooked rice and stew *her stew is to die for* and the chicken.....THE CHICKEN!!!! It was as fat as my thighs and my thighs are pretty huge!!!
DAMN!!! The temptation....
I just had to close my eyes and get through the day.

The ingredients for the diet
1. lemons/limes
2. maple syrup
3. cayenne pepper
4. water
5. sea salt and a laxative tea (for detox)
I haven't even tasted the concussion of a lemonade that should be made with cayenne pepper, maple syrup and lemons, but i expect it to be NASTY!!

I'm going to do this till the end of my christmas break.
Tomorrow, the real diet begins,
Wish me luck!!

THE diet

I have decided to go on BEYONCES MAPLE SYRUP DIET. A friend of mine told me about it and I have decided to finally do it and diet and *maybe* exercise
This should be fun!!

Fatty

Oh my!!!
i have gained alot of weight!!!!
oh wow!! my loose shirts are tighter!!!
my jeans are tighter!!!
and my boobs...oh my boobs!!! they are falling out of my 36dd bra!!!
oh my, a change is much needed
and FAST!!!
i gats to have that banging body for spring break!!!

I really...

...should be studying for my finals, but for some reason, I cant bring myself to focus.
Yesterday, I cried to sleep, again.
The pain is beginning to fade, very soon I'l no longer cry.
I am afraid of that. Does that mean I'l stop caring?
That I'l stop caring about him?
I dont want that to happen.
But the fact of the matter is, I dont feel like I mean anything to him
Shouldn't a guy smother his girlfriend sometimes?
Isn't he supposed to randomly say sweet and cute things to her?
Am I crazy because like every girl I want to feel special sometimes?
Am I crazy because I want to feel those butterflies in my tummy again?
I dont remember the last time I felt that way.
In the past six months with him, the only time I ever felt all "mushy and squeashy" inside was at the beginning.
I miss those days when i knew I meant alot to him
I miss that side of him.
I miss the way I used to feel.

Twitter Mania!!!

I just reactivated my twitter account!!!
Lol! i know i'm crazy but oh well!!
i was tired of studying and I decided to do something else.
I think twitter is really cool. Apparently theres a whole twitter world i dont know.....
anyways i decider twitting will be a new habit of mine over the christmas break since i know definitely that my break will suck.

Something still confuses me about the whole twitter thing, how can you follow someone you know and talk to and have their numbers and text and all that shit and they dont follow you back? how can you twit someone u know and they dont twit you back?

I was so irritated, i was trying to talk to this chick that is supposedly "my friend" and she doesnt respond. I mean, come on now I know you!! I felt like a stalker and it irritated me....

I Hate You (almost)

I cant explain it....
i almost feel like I hate you
Hate,
You.
We are so different
and I hate that you make me feel horrible for not being like you
I cant be like you
I will never be like you
if you cant love me for me
then you might as well leave.

:(

Peaches,

I stalked you today on facebook..... 
not the kind of stalking where you check someones profile or check their wall posts and everything but i stalked you as in i logged on your facebook.
You should probably change your password.  
Why do you talk to her? 
It hurts me so very much. 
I read all your threads with her. 
I puked in my mouth everytime you said "i love you" to her and i felt i would kill somebody when she said "i love you" to you (which she seemed to say ever so often)  
She called you names like "my peach" "love" "darling" and i could feel my tummy turn and hurt as i read thread after thread after thread and when my tummy hurt so much that i couldnt take it anymore, i stopped reading. 
You two have so much history...
It feels like compared to her, I do not know you at all.
And apparently you loved her as much as she loved you
I cant help but think, how can i compete with that? 
A part of me thinks you still love her 
but another part of me hopes you dont.

Me

A Dose of Bleach

The new bleach Arch filler has been going on for a long time now, almost too long!!
Its really a very different catchy story. I mean, who would have thought Zanpakutos could take up their true form and rebel against their masters?

Its been a juicy story so far and the appearance of Kenpachi in the last 2 episodes brings more action to the story!!!
I kinda like Kenpachi, his brute force and his love of fights makes watching him an absolute JOY!!!

One thing I keep wondering is, when and how the will this Arch filler end?
How will Muramasa die? Whats the deal with Byukuya? AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! the wait is frustrating!!!! and I have almost had enough of it!!!
I'm not saying that I am not enjoying it, but I really cant wait to get back to the real story, THE FINAL SHOWDOWN!!! between the Shinigamis and Aizen and the Esapadas

And, when the hell is the Third Bleach movie going to be out? I have been waiting for more than 6months now!!!

Still waiting....

We talked...
he opened his heart to me
in ways nobody ever has
he promised me change
and as he said the things he would never do again
I found myself silently promising the same thing
I forgave him...
I couldnt help it...
I love him
I really really do
we are not back together....
he asked me out, I said no.
I know i'l say yes, eventually
but for now, i am waiting
waiting for something
something from him
he will have to to find out what that something is
till then, we wait

Unappreciated

I broke up with peaches today at 2.23am
I cant deny that it was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever done.
But I did it anyway...
though I could feel the bile rising in my throat
and the hot tears about to spill from my eyes
I still did it,
I had to
I was tired of feeling unappreciated
just tired....

Me

Maybe Its Just Not Me

I'm hurting us...
I know it and you know it,
And it hurts.
I know i am different from the girl you fell in love with.
So much has changed.
Tenderness is gone, all there is, is hostility and pain.
Where there was once Fun and Life, there is now Boredom.
If only you knew how I feel everytime I say no to going out
If only you knew the inhibitions holding me back.
I think you stay because you hope the me you love will return
but I fear that that me has left the building.
I feel sorrow for that part of me that is dead.
Because when I look into your eyes, I see that you miss her so,
the me with joy and laughter and life.
Were there was hope there is now fear
the fear that this me may be too hard for you to bear
the fear that someday you will up and leave
 in disappointment of the loss of who I used to be.
I love you and dont want to let you go,
but still i am wise enough to know
that your heart longs for that missing part
and I fear that maybe its just not me.

Appauling!!

I cannot believe that some human beings are so close minded. It is actually very sad to know.
How is it that someone can spend their whole life supporting a particular cause and in a blink of an eye, do everything to contradict it? It befuddles my mind. I was reading sugabelly's recent blog posts.I started reading her blog because she wrote about real things and her real opinions and I found it admirable. Anyway the particular posts that piqued my interest were the ones about her porn preferences.

I  have nothing against the first post, where she said she doesnt like black porn cos it hits so close to home. That is her opinion and though I dont share the opinion, I respect it. However, I was was quite appaled at the second post, it showed a picture of a nude overweight black woman. I am against it becaues of the following reasons:
1. Sugabelly claims to be a feminist, an "activist" of the pride of the black woman and then she comes and posts a nude picture of a black woman. I feel its very contradictory and shows a great deal of disrespect to the all black women.
2. I also feel like to her, overweight black women is all what black porn is all about and thats very wrong.
However, the really most shocking parts of this post were her replies to the comments people had left on the post. I thought she did not like "black" porn then all of a sudden it turned to "fat" porn? I just feel that was really inconsistent of her. If fat porn is her issue, why didnt she post a picture of a fat white woman?
3. The thing  that hit me the most was when she started talking about the "norm" for human beings?
norm? what the hell is that? i cant believe that in this modern day and age people still have such archaic views!!! there is no "norm" for the way a human being should look!!! everybody is unique, different and beautiful in their own way!!! there is no norm!!! that is absolutely ridiculous....

Words of A Drowning Soul

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'l do anything to end this nightmare!!!!

EVERYTHING!! ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!!!!! is going WRONG!!!!

GOD please!!!

I need you now, more than ever

Plea of A Rebel

I have tried to avoid all the drama that comes with having you around. I have taken all the nagging, the slander, defaming, false acccusations, intimidations. Nothing I do is ever good enough. My hair is too wild, I am too fat, I am not the straight A student,....*nagging*nagging*nagging, thats all i ever get from you. I am constantly reminded of what you want me to be, constantly pressurised to be your own definition of a "Model Child" A child with no ambitions of her own, whose life is a mirror image of your desires. A child with no voice of her own, who does as she is told, when she is told, how she is told. A child who must wear a fake smile at all times. A child who must make perfect grades and get married to a doctor from a stable and wealthy family.

But,

I BEG to be different. I choose to laugh and smile when I am happy and frown when I am hurt or sad. I choose to have my own voice, to make my own choice, to learn from my own mistakes.

I PLEAD to be my own person, to be respected, and for my my opinions to be acknowledged. I want to choose the right man for me. Be he vagabond or rogue, prince or pauper or even a broke ass aspiring poet or a boy who treats me like a gem, who loves me like I love him.

So yes! I plead for the right to bleed when I am cut, to cry when I am hurt, to be my own woman and be the best I can be , by simply just being ME!

英語...悪い!! (english...BAD!!)

Take this from someone who knows, there is nothing better than watching Bleach in Japanese....

Face it, the awesomeness of the fights, the beauty of the swords, the power in the emotions........you can not truly appreciate the wonder that is Bleach until you watch it in Japanese.

So, why the fuck does American tv show it on cartoon network in FUCKING ENGLISH!!

Haven't they heard of "Subbing" I mean it is trully pathetic!

So heres the story, I was awake late one night surfing tv channels and I happened to see Ichigos face on tv!!!

and i'm like OMG!!!! they really show Bleach on tv!!! OMG! OMG!! O*fucking* MG!!!

I remember saying to myself, "sure this will be an old episode" and "sure i would have seen it anyways, but whatever, its on tv!!"

So there in my excitement, I turn up the volume, ready to get lost in Bleachful Oblivion only for it to be in EFFING ENGLISH!!!!

I mean WHAT IS THE WORLD TURNING INTO???

CANT A GIRL WATCH DECENT ANIME ANYMORE???

and not only was that episode in english,

it was a FUCKING FILLER!

*SHIT!!

A Night to Remember

Rarely in life do you relate to someone else so deeply....

so completely.....

so honestly.....

and if you find that someone, Keep them.

We had a conversation yesterday.....yes, me and HIM and in all my not so many years I have never felt someone elses pain and fears so accurately and so "like it were my own" as I felt his. It was all raw emotion ...no discretion, free from humiliation. It was like we were both talking from our souls, two hearts, desperately seeking eachother.

I bet none of us saw that coming when we woke up at about 1.30am that morning. I know for sure that I had other things in mind....I bet he did too.... But anyways, As I sat there beside him with my head on his shoulder, listening to him confide to me his deepest fears and the pain of so many years, I couldnt help the tears that rushed uncontrollably from my eyes. I let them fall as i felt shockwave after shockwave of pain that was his wash over me, I grieved that someone so beautiful, so good, so unique, so real, could feel such pain and, when I thought I could cry no more, I looked into his eyes and saw silent tears there, in his eyes, on his cheeks. He hastily wiped them away but it was almost like he did nothing cos soon after he spotted once more, a teary eye....

As my chest began to constrict and my fingers began to quiver, I knew Emotions had won the battle against Composure. I cried at the sight of his silent tears.....I see HIM different now......because now I see the way he sees things...sees people...sees me and what is it exactly that I see? I see a man worthy of my respect...A man strong enough to admit hes human...A man (and yes I say man) not after my heart but a Man that owns it....