I really...

...should be studying for my finals, but for some reason, I cant bring myself to focus.
Yesterday, I cried to sleep, again.
The pain is beginning to fade, very soon I'l no longer cry.
I am afraid of that. Does that mean I'l stop caring?
That I'l stop caring about him?
I dont want that to happen.
But the fact of the matter is, I dont feel like I mean anything to him
Shouldn't a guy smother his girlfriend sometimes?
Isn't he supposed to randomly say sweet and cute things to her?
Am I crazy because like every girl I want to feel special sometimes?
Am I crazy because I want to feel those butterflies in my tummy again?
I dont remember the last time I felt that way.
In the past six months with him, the only time I ever felt all "mushy and squeashy" inside was at the beginning.
I miss those days when i knew I meant alot to him
I miss that side of him.
I miss the way I used to feel.